Sam

Time:

21st Century. Place:

Brooklyn, United States. Also known as:

Sam the Man, Amazing Judo Guy (according to Sam). Not known as:

Samuel, Samson, Sam the Sportsman. Claim to fame:

Loves books, reading, calculations and research and not getting thrown into the ocean by pirates or being stabbed by gladiators. Sam is one of Joe's two best friends. Typical headline if on 10 o'clock news:

Local Boy Reads Entire Encyclopedia Again.

After the Break: Are Thumbs The New Fingers? Channel 9 investigates. Likely billing if appearing on The Jerry Springer Show:

Boy Who Wishes He Was On CSPAN Instead Of The Jerry Springer Show. Likely to say:

"That must be an aqueduct!"

"Runes — they're the Viking form of writing. They're all over "Elf Quest II: Return to Valhalla." I told you we should have played that."

"Help!!" Unlikely to say:

"Stand back, Fred. I'll fight that tiger." Family:

Lives with his mom. She's a freelance writer and editor. Who would play Sam in a movie?

That guy that plays Frasier's brother or David Spade. Favorite ice cream:

"Actually, I'm lactose intolerant."