Blackbeard

Time:

Born in England around 1680 — Died 1718. Place:

West Indies and Atlantic coast of the United States. Also known as:

Edward Teach, Edward Thatch, Edward Drummond.

Lets face it; Blackbeard is a way cooler name for a pirate. Picture this: a massive ship pulls alongside yours. A hoard of scary, hairy pirates prepare to come aboard. A lone voice rings out against the sound of rifles and canon. "Avast, me hearties! Chill yer blood an shiver yer bones: ere comes the dreaded Mister Edward Drummond..." See? The Blackbeard name was really the way to go. Claim to fame:

Possibly the scariest pirate of all time. He even put lit rope in his hair to make people think he was a demon with blazing hair. Typical headline if on 10 o'clock news:

Blackbeard Battles British Boats.

After the Break: Is Your Cat Reading Your Email? Channel 9 investigates. Likely to say:

"If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marroond or shot." Unlikely to say:

"Aaaarrrr!" Unless one of those flaming ropes in his hair burnt his ears. Who would play Blackbeard in a movie?

Lets go with Johnny Depp.

Failing that, Ewan McGregor. Gift to Democracy:

Pirates ran their lives according to complex rules of conduct, and each pirate on a ship had a vote in electing a captain and making decisions. Because of this, it's said that pirates had democracy long before the Colonies developed it. Favorite ice cream:

Rum and Raisin. Rum was often carried on ships because water went bad on long trips. Rum was even added to water to take the taste away: this was called grog.